View Full Version : Need help convincing wife!
davideglasgow
03-09-2009, 10:56 AM
I assume many of you have been in the same position with your spouse before. I recently purchased a Rebel XS with kit lens. Needless to say, I'm not really that impressed with the kit lens, as it simply is not fast enough for indoor photography of a hyperactive 21-month old. I want the 50mm f/1.4 badly.However, this takes a bit of convincing of my wife, who is not "into" photography, only sees the fact that I just dropped $500 on the camera not too long ago, and desperately wants a new house (which is going to happen regardless of this $325 lens). Anyway, what are some strategies you have used in these types of situations?
Dallasphotog
03-09-2009, 11:38 AM
This is an area I can provide expert advice. There are four strategies.
1) Shoot a lot of pictures of the 21-month old and start sending enlargements to Adorama in say in 16 x 20. Once you've proved you can decorate her house with portraiture and provide her with pictures of her offspring, half the battle is won. Oh, and make the case you need the lensto improve your pictures before you start spendingthat enlargement dough.
2) Shoot for her friends or family. Pick an anniversary or a baby shower andstart producing images forher sphere of influence. When the friends and family start bragging on you,start explaining how you need just one more lens to get that perfect shot.
3) Get her interested in scrap booking; electronic or using the beautifulleather books. I have a folder on my external drive for family pictures that contains 24,000 images. Whatever she needs,I can provide.
4) Finally, develop a paying customer base. My very first commercial jobs were sporting events for friends children. I got my EF70-200mm F/2.8, strictly to shoot soccer and baseball. When I started selling images to the newspaper and then to more publications, I was careful to seperate the business finances from the personal ones. Now I provide my own funding stream for all the cool toys.
Joel Bookhammer
03-09-2009, 11:40 AM
Well the first things that pops into mind is to not tell her....but that doesnt support a healthy relationship even if she doesnt find out. Umm If you dont already try to make some money off the photography to help pay for it. Umm explain how you could take better pictures to remember these moments in time. The last "strategy" I have to suggest is let her know how nice of pictures you could take on your second honeymoon this summer to some exotic location. [;)]
Cheers!
my wife and i have a deal ... she doesnt look in my camera or golf bag and i dont look in her shoe racks or closet ...works out just fine
Steve Eisenberg
03-09-2009, 12:10 PM
You need to earn some "Husband Capital". There should be nothing that you know needs to be done around the house left undone. That means paint touch-ups, fixing the leaky faucet, stop the door from squeaking, etc. If there is anything she asks you to do, just do it without complaint. Especially do chores if there is a ball game on that you would normally watch. Because the needs of the family outweigh what your personal needs. That is step one.
Step two. Meet her needs. Don't give her a hard time. Be sympathetic. Listen without judging or trying to fix everything. And of course, buy her stuff.
Step three. I hadn't thought too much about this one. You'll need to fill in the blank. Every wife is slightly different than the next. For example, maybe help more with the baby. Do something to meet the peculiar traits of your particular model! [;)]
Step four. Finally, bring your camera to a place where it would be inappropriate to use a flash. Especially a place that involves children. Print the photos, and let her come to the conclusion that those will just not do. Tell her it's a limitation of the bargain lens that came with the camera. And lenses are made that allow you to take quality photos without using the flash. Tell her about the 50mm f1.2 and it's high price, but fortunately, Canon has been good enough to make a 50mm f1.4 for those with budget concerns.
Step five. Be subtle, commit all to memory. Do not write down your devious little plans or you will be in deep trouble. Remember, women have the built-in ability to manipulate you without note cards. You are going to have to act outside of your caveman nature to get what you want.
Step six. You get the things you want. But because of your hard work, end up being a better spouse. Leading to cookies and sex. Amen brother!
Erich Anderson
03-09-2009, 12:19 PM
What happened to Step #3?
davideglasgow
03-09-2009, 12:22 PM
BTW, speaking of prints...
What is the largest I can print with the XS set at 10.1 MP? Adorama says optimally 8X10, but I would think at 10.1 I could go larger than that?
Steve Eisenberg
03-09-2009, 12:29 PM
Egads! I forgot to add it!!!
Steve Eisenberg
03-09-2009, 12:42 PM
BTW, speaking of prints...
What is the largest I can print with the XS set at 10.1 MP? Adorama says optimally 8X10, but I would think at 10.1 I could go larger than that?
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
At 3888x2592 pixels, divide the dimensions by the resolution you want. By Canon's standard (at least in my manual) that would be about 235 DPI. So, with 235 DPI, 16.5x11. Or if you want 300 DPI, about 13x8.5, etc. At least, that's how I do it...You can find LOTS of discussion regarding this issue...
Why not get Canon 50mm f/1.8 II instead?
It is almost 4 times cheaper, so it will be waaay easier to convince your wife. The pros and cons:
1) you loose 2/3 of F-stop and build quality.
2) you gain a tool to convince wife 'see, how much difference there is with f/1.8 lens? Imagine how better it would be to have a good quality f/1.4 lens!
3) even if you don't succeed convincing your wife to get more expensive one, you still have f/1.8 lens!
4) ...and you may decide later on, that you would rather get Sigma 30mm f/1.4
Steve Eisenberg
03-09-2009, 01:19 PM
Why not get Canon 50mm f/1.8 II instead?
It is almost 4 times cheaper, so it will be waaay easier to convince your wife. The pros and cons:
1) you loose 2/3 of F-stop and build quality.
2) you gain a tool to convince wife 'see, how much difference there is with f/1.8 lens? Imagine how better it would be to have a good quality f/1.4 lens!
3) even if you don't succeed convincing your wife to get more expensive one, you still have f/1.8 lens!
4) ...and you may decide later on, that you would rather get Sigma 30mm f/1.4
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
There's always that...Quick and easy.
alexniedra
03-09-2009, 01:23 PM
Try the 50 1.8 II - I did, and I love it.
Build quality sucks. Optical quality rocks. Easy on the wallet. Great.
davideglasgow
03-09-2009, 01:28 PM
I'm not so much concerned about build quality as I am about taking sharp pictures in low-light.
Steve Eisenberg
03-09-2009, 01:29 PM
Where's the virtue in simply buying cheaper?
Think of the manly sacrifices you could make for the better lens!
davideglasgow
03-09-2009, 01:33 PM
I see the point of buying cheaper, but I'm more inclined to go for the gusto. Really, $325 is not an issue. It's more what it is, than how much. In fairness, my wife rarely buys anything for herself, although I encourage it and am much more loose with the money. Incidentally, when we had our pre-marital survey (you Catholics know what I'm talking about), finance was about the only thing we differed on! :)
David, if none of the offered advice works on your wife, at least you've got the list of those rascals who gave it to you! [:D]
Seriously, though, it helps to be able to show your handiwork to her, plus rake in some bucks while doing it.
Wait til you want more L lenses.....whoa, are you going to need help then, pal!
Jayson
03-09-2009, 03:38 PM
I too bought a camera for taking pictures of the kids.I bought the 50 1.8II when I started and it worked fine for indoor stuff. Sure the focus isn't super fast, but if you take a ton of pictures you will get plenty of good ones. If you have the kids posing, it will be fine.I blew up a 10.1mp from my XTi to 13x19 and it looked pretty good.
Another good suggestion would be for various gifts such as birthdays and Christmas, ask for gift cards to certain places that she would like to shop. Then give her the giftcard in exchange for cold hard cash.I haven't tried this, but it just might work.
Jon Ruyle
03-09-2009, 07:31 PM
my wife rarely buys anything for herself
My wife never spends money, either. Terrible. If only she had an expensive hobby, things would be SO much easier. (And if that hobby was photography, things would be SO SO much easier... ah well.)
Benjamin
03-09-2009, 10:58 PM
Haha, interesting topic! My experience of dealing with my girlfriend when she questions me about spending over $1000 on a lens is that, I took her out and take photos of her (she likes photos BTW) which cannot be made with my previous lenses.Then compare the result andtry to explain the difference.After shesees the improvement optically,she will no longer disagree with my spending anymore!
In your case I guess you can rent the 50/1.4 first and took nice pictures to convince your wife as renting will not cost too much at all. (like $15 per weekend or something.)
Plus, different people will react to this differently, my girlfriend generally won't care too much about how much money I spend on photography, and she can also be convinced by my photos and speeches...[:P]
Colin
03-10-2009, 01:38 AM
...my girlfriend generally won't care too much about how much money I spend on photography, and she can also be convinced by my photos and speeches.../emoticons/emotion-4.gif
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
Benjamin, buy your lenses before you get married, and/or make a lot of money using them [:)]
Benjamin
03-10-2009, 01:59 AM
Benjamin, buy your lenses before you get married, and/or make a lot of money using them
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
I see what you mean, I'll do[:D]
If I may disagree with Dallasphotog for a second let me suggest you not make beautiful prints of the 21 month old. This will only convince her that your current lens is good enough. May I suggest you not try and convince your wife at all. Buy the 50 1.4 without telling her. It's about the same size as your kit lens and she won't notice. Take beautiful picutures of the child. Blow those up to poster size and when she comments on how great they are, still don't tell her. Keep your kit lens well hidden and only use it surreptitiously. My wife still doesn't realize I have 3 camera bodies and 6 L lenses. She thinks I still only have a 40D and 17-55mm F2.8 and I like it that way. Well it works for me.
Steve Eisenberg
03-10-2009, 08:38 AM
If I may disagree with Dallasphotog for a second let me suggest you not make beautiful prints of the 21 month old. This will only convince her that your current lens is good enough. May I suggest you not try and convince your wife at all. Buy the 50 1.4 without telling her. It's about the same size as your kit lens and she won't notice. Take beautiful picutures of the child. Blow those up to poster size and when she comments on how great they are, still don't tell her. Keep your kit lens well hidden and only use it surreptitiously. My wife still doesn't realize I have 3 camera bodies and 6 L lenses. She thinks I still only have a 40D and 17-55mm F2.8 and I like it that way. Well it works for me.
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
Aman with guts!
davideglasgow
03-10-2009, 12:18 PM
Newsflash. I got approval for the lens!
Difficulty: It's backordered, everywhere. At least where it's not $400. B&H has it for $325 (best I've found so far), but it's backordered and they're closed for Purim anyway. Ugh, what a chain of events. If anyone wants to go on a hunt, I'd appreciate it. I guess I'm asking for a lot with price and availability.
Steve Eisenberg
03-10-2009, 12:48 PM
Newsflash. I got approval for the lens!
Difficulty: It's backordered, everywhere. At least where it's not $400. B&H has it for $325 (best I've found so far), but it's backordered and they're closed for Purim anyway. Ugh, what a chain of events. If anyone wants to go on a hunt, I'd appreciate it. I guess I'm asking for a lot with price and availability.
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
Closed on Purim? Not exactly a high holiday. But there is alot of drinking , so maybe it's for the best!
Jon Ruyle
03-10-2009, 12:51 PM
Amazon says "ships in 2-4 weeks" which isn't what you want, but it is only $315, free shipping.
davideglasgow
03-10-2009, 02:03 PM
Man, it's already up to $353. I guess I wasn't quick enough on the draw!
Jon Ruyle
03-10-2009, 03:44 PM
I guess they raised it.
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/x-locale/common/icons/exclamation-error-red._V42752348_.gif
<b class="sans"]<span style="color: #990000;"]Important Message[/b]
<span style="color: #990000;"]Please note that the price of Canon EF 50mm f1.4 USM Standard & Medium Telephoto Lens for Canon SLR Cameras ("http://www.amazon.com/gp/cart/view.html/ref=gno_cartgw)
has increased from $314.99 to $353.99 since you placed it in your
Shopping Cart. Items in your cart will always reflect the most recent
price displayed on their product detail pages.
I put it in my cart just after I posted.
Evil.
Colin
03-11-2009, 12:15 AM
Crap, I should have just bought one.... Poop!
District_History_Fan
03-15-2009, 10:02 PM
I assume many of you have been in the same position with your spouse before. I recently purchased a Rebel XS with kit lens. Needless to say, I'm not really that impressed with the kit lens, as it simply is not fast enough for indoor photography of a hyperactive 21-month old. I want the 50mm f/1.4 badly.However, this takes a bit of convincing of my wife, who is not "into" photography, only sees the fact that I just dropped $500 on the camera not too long ago, and desperately wants a new house (which is going to happen regardless of this $325 lens). Anyway, what are some strategies you have used in these types of situations?
<div style="CLEAR: both"]</div>
I'd suggest that you be reasonable but buy what you need and tell her to deal with it.
Jon Ruyle
03-15-2009, 11:57 PM
I'd suggest that you be reasonable but buy what you need and tell her to deal with it.
Obviously, you're not married.
(And if you are, you're better at it than I am [;)])
HiFiGuy1
03-16-2009, 01:44 AM
As one who is approaching two decades of marital bliss, I can tell you that I think District_History_fan is either not married, or won't be much longer! [:D]
Jarhead5811
03-16-2009, 03:11 AM
I'd suggest that you be reasonable but buy what you need and tell her to deal with it.
Ballsy,stupid, but ballsy.
davideglasgow
03-16-2009, 10:56 AM
It ended up only taking a few days. I badgered her to the point where she caved. Probably not the best strategy, but I had my lens in a week.
Colin
03-16-2009, 12:42 PM
Better to badger her for consent (and follow it with outward glowing apprreciation and excitement) than to either ignore or deceive. When I was married, I handled it by buying one for her too. That worked fine. We had different, non purchasing issues, that were far more fundamental. Just remember,next timeshe wants something, it's a fantastic idea!