Please critique

[Jayson]

I am not very skilled in the art of portrait photography when it comes to a theme (or just portraits for that matter). I was attempting to make this photo be someone who is capable of writing horror stories, yet keep them as someone you could relate to. I have some things that were bugging me about this photo, but wanted to see what others had to say. I was going to keep this photo up for a little while then take it down since the subject, if she saw it, might not like me anymore.



Lighting what a 430exII on the floor under a white difusion reflector at about 5:30. There is a 580exII in a shoot through umbrella at about 12:30. A poor attempt at Clam Lighting I know. Touchup was in lightroom 4 and then CS5. Color action was a split tone preset 1 from lightroom 4.