Excellent Alan,
Your taking the necessary steps toward good composition. That's a great way of analyzing those shots.
Suggestion: Now try both of them using the same rules in portrait, rather than landscape.
As far as dodging and burning, take your time and experiment. Theselook tough to adjust IMHO. (I'm sure there are some PS gurus that could teach me a few things)
In the first shot, In Portrait, her mouth or sholder could possible follow the secondary line.
In the second shot, I'd try to get rid of the building in the background by cropping so that the 2/3 line is at her hose or mouth.