Looking for some critique

[Jayson]

I recently took these head shots and want to improve on them. I have a subject that is available upon request and I would love to make these better. I have trouble with posing and would appreciate any tips or suggestions you may have. I still have to do a hair editing. I also would take these during the day to get some ambient light so her pupils weren't so dilated and you could better see her blue eyes. It is very dark in my studio in the evening.

Some ideas on what I was attempting to accomplish. Subject is an aspiring author and she is looking for a good profile shot. She doesn't want the stiff poses that you see of most authors, yet she doesn't want it to be too casual. She is very shy in front of the camera and I am not a good director. Lighting wise, I am shooting her on a white background lit with flash. That way I can change it to what I want later. I tend to make it more of a gray so it is easier to make a background work. These photos were taken with a flash fired through a soft box at camera left about 45 degrees. I have another in a shoot through umbrella at camera right about 45 degrees. Both were fired about 1/4 power. The soft box is much closer to the subject than the umbrella. I didn't want that much of a difference in exposure and ratio so lights were adjusted to this. I was trying for a non smiling shoot, but the one where she kind of cracked a smile I really liked. She doesn't because she feels it makes her look like she doesn't have teeth. I took many more from this shoot, but I don't think they were what I was looking for.

Thanks again for the critiques!